What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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