i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
