U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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