So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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