Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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