I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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