he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
