I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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