Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize