Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
