so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
