I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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