I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize