my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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