if you like me you must not know who I am
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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