Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
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You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
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He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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