dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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