They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
