There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
