Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My vagina is very pro this idea
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
