You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Your cock deserves a montage
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
