Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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