im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
