I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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