my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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