My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
