Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize