Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
