What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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