I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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