he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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