woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
