I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Come see our sink grown plant.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
