My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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