we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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