Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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