it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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