YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
