the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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