She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
