i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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