Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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