so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
