Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
