I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
