Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
