And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
