You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
