My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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