:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
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