shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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