She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
