Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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