I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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