Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
