He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
