I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
