The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
