Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
