If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
